Don't Give Up On Me Yet
by xStepOneIsYourHeartx
Summary: Shaun is a young, damaged boy, feels like nothing and has feelings for one of his best friends, does he feel the same way?.. Shandy pairing. SLASH.
1. Chapter 1: Baby, What you waiting for?

**SHAUN'S P.O.V**

**I woke up, dreading everyday as usual. But it was time for school. Not many people like me, or should I say, nobody likes me. Being confused about my sexuality was hard enough, I'm just that 'emo faggot' so they say, every time they call me that I die a little more Inside. The only person who partially understands me is Andy with the cutting myself and all, and that's why I love him. Yes that's right. I love him. I had to get him off my mind, but he's everywhere I go. He's in my mind all the time. He makes me feel better. I love him.  
><strong> 

**I walked around the school daydreaming at the end of the day, then I heard a voice.  
>"Shaun?" I knew that voice, that gorgeous sweet voice that makes my heart melt. It was Andy.<br>"Andy" I turned around trying to kill the butterflies in my gut every time I saw his gorgeous face.  
>He smiled at me, I think he can see the red starting to appear in my cheeks.<br>"How are you?"  
>"Great" I lied. "You?"<br>"Okay I guess" he looked in my eyes for a minute then looked down "ummm I have to go, see you later Shaun" he smiled then started to walk away, I know he isn't gay but I love him, I am stupid and in love with someone who would never love me back. I hate loving him, he's my best friend's step-brother I started to blush at the thought of him then he suddenly turned around.**

"**Oh and I was wondering if you wanted to come over tonight? I-I mean...If you want"  
>"I-I would love to, thanks Andy" I could feel my face burning up, I couldn't believe he asked me to go over and Bradie said he was going out with his parents for dinner. "Okay see you then" he smiled and left.<br>**


	2. Chapter 2: These are my confessions

**I got ready so quickly I was too nervous to think of anything else. I was going to Andy's**. _Andy's_.**It was just going to be me and him, alone. I had to tell him how I felt. I couldn't keep it a secret anymore, it was eating me alive.**

**I got to Andy's nervous as hell. I walked to the door and knocked, he opened the door straight away.  
>"Shaun" he said smiling<br>"hey Andy!" I said trying to hide my nervousness. He hugged me for about two minutes. I felt safe there, in his arms. We walked inside and I sat on the couch awkwardly, I didn't know what to do.  
>"You okay Shaun? He said as he came and sat next to me putting his hand on my back. I sighed.<br>" I-I need to tell you something before anything happens."  
>he looked at me confused "Shaun, you know you can tell me anything"<br>"I-I know"**

"**So, what is it?"  
>"w-well I-I ummm" I felt myself blush<br>"come on.."  
>'Say it Shaun, Say it' I kept repeating in my head.<br>"Shaun?"  
>"Andy,I love you"<strong>

**He looked at me stunned my heart was beating over 100km per hour. I can't believe I just told him.  
>"s-so?" I said looking into his beautiful eyes, it gave me butterflies. He looked back into my eyes smiling. "Shaun..I...also love you"<br>"you do?" I said surprised, I can't believe someone actually cared about me like that.  
>"Yes Shaun, I love you and...I-I'm gay Shaun, I kept it a secret because I didn't want people thinking I'm a freak"<br>"you shouldn't be ashamed of what you are" I shook my head slightly.  
>"I-I know"<br>"s-so what will happen between us?"  
>He looked at me blankly. "c-can we keep it a secret for a while?"<br>"Sure" I can't believe this was real, actually happening. My stomach was full of butterflies, I was so in love. We sat there quietly for a while until Andy spoke,  
>"h-how long have you loved me for?" he asked curiously.<br>"well when I met you I thought you were beautiful and once we started be honest with each other I fell In love with you" he got closer to me putting his hand on my thigh, my heart started racing again.  
>"I loved you from the moment I met you" he whispered as he got closer and closer slowly, "I Love you" I whispered.<br>"I Love you too" **

**I started getting closer to him as he did to me and we touched lips softly, my gut filling with butterflies as I closed my eyes, we kept kissing each other soft and slow. I slid my hand up his thigh gently as he started to moan I felt my pants get tighter, as I ran my fingers through his hair, starting to slide my tongue around his. His moans made my pants tighter. He moved his hand to my crotch rubbing it softly, I moaned immediately. I lied down on the couch pulling him on top of me, our tongues battling fiercely. He rode my crotch with his, we both moaned softly in unison. I felt better than I have for a while, I felt good being this close to him. To the man I love, then he stopped and sat back down with his face in his hands.  
>"b-baby, what's wrong?" I said breathlessly<br>"I'm not...ready" he sighed  
>"but I want you...NOW" I said and went and sat on top of him<br>"believe me...I want you more than anything"  
>"then take me" I whispered in his ear, he moaned softly.<br>"No Shaun. Not for a while"  
>I frowned. His touch was amazing, that's all I wanted. His touch.<br>"I Love you Shaun"  
>"I Love you too" he smiled then looked at his phone.<br>"Shit! Shaun you were meant to be home hours ago"  
>"So?"<strong>

"**SO!So, I'm taking you home now before your mum chops your head off"  
>"Seriously Andy?" I didn't want to go home. I just want to be in his arms.<br>"Seriously Shaun?" I loved it when he gets all panicky. It's cute.  
>"Okay, okay. I'll go...just kiss me one more time" he smiled and leaned in and kissed my lips softly, I blushed bright red. "See, that's all I wanted" "let's go baby" he smiled.<br>I slowly walked to his car on purpose, I didn't want to leave. He made me feel safe, like nothing will ever touch or hurt my damaged soul.  
>"Get in the car Shaun" he said sternly, I got in and giggled "sounds like you were going to rape me" I laughed.<br>"If I raped you it wouldn't necessarily be 'rape' "  
>"why's that?"<br>"You'd enjoy it" he winked  
>"of course I would...silly me" I winked back. He laughed and held my hand with one hand as he drove with the other, watching the road.<br>"Andy?" I said  
>"yes, baby?"<br>"C-Can you promise me something?" I looked at him  
>"depends" he shrugged<br>"promise me you'll never hurt me? I-I can't lose you"  
>he smiled "Shaun, I would never hurt or break your heart. I love you more than words can describe. Do you not understand that?"<br>I felt some tears come to my eyes. They weren't sad tears, these were happy tears.  
>"I Love you so much Andy"<br>"I Love you too Shaun".  
>We got to my place and I sighed, I had to leave him. We kissed goodbye and I walked inside, knowing what was to come.<br>"SHAUN DONALD PATRICK DIVINEY WHERE IN THE WORLD HAVE YOU BEEN?"**

"**At Andy's, mum I told you that."**

" **I know but you are 2 hours late"  
>"we were playing video games...the time went fast" I lied.<br>"hmmm well...I got scared, I don't want you hurt"  
>"Don't worry mum, I won't get hurt...Andy...h-he's my best friend"<br>"I-I know but still"**

"**I'm going to bed, night mum" I started to walk up the stairs, she opened her arms and cleared her throat.  
>"Ahem, where is my hug and kiss goodnight?"<br>I rolled my eyes and quickly hugged and kissed her cheek goodnight.  
>"That's better" she smiled<br>"Goodnight mum" I sighed with a smile  
>"Goodnight Shaun, sweet dreams"<br>"you too" I said running to my room and got ready for bed. I couldn't wait for tomorrow, to be with Andy.**


	3. Chapter 3: I'll cut till crimson falls

**It was morning, I was at my locker at school and Andy came up behind me and whispered,  
>"Good morning Baby"<strong>

**I turned around smiling "Good morning how was your sleep?"  
>"Great. I couldn't wait to be with you again"<br>"Neither could I" we smiled  
>"I love you" he whispered in my ear then went to his class, I smiled and checked what I had. Oh goodie...it was P.E. I got changed and went to the basket ball court then Jimmy came up to me.<br>"What's with you and Andy, fag boy?"  
>"n-nothing Jimmy...leave me alone" I said, starting to walking away<br>"It didn't look like nothing"  
>"it was...nothing"<br>"OH LOOK EMO BOY FOUND LOVE" he laughed  
>"you don't know a thing" I started to cry as my stomach felt dead<br>"awww did I hurt little fag pants?"  
>"W-WHY DOES EVERYONE ASUME I AM 'A GAY FAT EMO SHIT'?" a tear rolled<br>"Well for one, you wear REALLY tight pants two, you have emo hair PLUS you wear shitty eye makeup"  
>"I-It isn't all the fucking time"<br>"yeah right" he scoffed and punched me in the stomach  
>"what the fuck is wrong with you?" I said with pain<br>"what's wrong with me? You mean, what's wrong with YOU"  
>I couldn't take it anymore, I was sick of the name calling and the bullying...I needed to get out. I grabbed my bag and ran to the boy's toilet, locking myself in a cubical, looking through my bag "where is it?" I cried, I know I promised Andy I wouldn't but I have to. It's the only way. I grabbed my razor out and cut my arm repetitively getting deeper with each cut. I sat there, sad, lonely, watching the crimson colour roll down my arm. I cried and felt like screaming from the sting. I didn't move. I hid there all day.<strong>

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><p><strong>ANDY'S P.O.V<strong>

**I haven't seen Shaun since this morning. 'Where could he be?' I kept thinking. I wanted to know he was safe. Secure. I passed Jimmy and he smirked at me I looked at him seriously.  
>"What's up with you?"<br>"Nothing. This morning Shaun was being his usual flamboyant gay self and ran away, haven't seen him since then"  
>"what the fuck Jimmy?" I snapped<br>"what? It was incredibly funny."  
>"oh yeah. My ass"<br>"Come at me bro"  
>"I'm not going to...but if you say ANYTHING one more time expect to be dead before you wake"<br>"why are you say protective of that homo"  
>I grabbed him by the collar and said fiercely "he is...my best friend...don't fuck with him, understand?" he pushed himself off me and walked away "Loser".<br>I ignored him, I wanted Shaun then I passed the bathroom hearing whimpers and cries I was about to enter as Shaun ran out.  
>"SHAUN?" I ran after him, where is he going? He turned around, I looked into his terrified, lost eyes and felt my heart break.<br>"What happened?" I questioned  
>"N-Nothing A-Andy"<strong>

"**Shaun, I want you...to tell me"  
>"I-I'm n-not telling you a-absolutely no shit"<br>"Shaun...do you want to come to my place?"  
>"O-Okay Andy" I grabbed him by the arm, he hissed slightly<br>"Shaun?" I said as we started walking to my car  
>"mhmm?"<br>"what's wrong with your arm?"  
>"nothing" he quickly said and got in my car.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4: I used to be like you

**SHAUN'S P.O.V**

"**Shaun…talk to me" Andy said, focusing on the road, I shook my head and looked out my window, he sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.  
>"Shaun please?"<br>"I-I said…no" I said trying to hold back my tears. We arrived at his place, I got out and ran inside quickly, he ran after me.  
>"SHAUN!"<br>"Fuck off!" I yelled and locked myself in the bathroom, he banged his head on the door "S-Shaun please…you've got me worried"  
>"D-Don't…worry" I said, my voice broke and started to cry<strong>  
><strong>"Baby, open the door.."<br>"NO."  
>"please?"<br>"NO, NO, NO, NO, NO" I yelled  
>"Do what I say, open the door….NOW" he said fiercely<br>"F-Fine" I said softly and slowly opened the door, he grabbed my arm and slid my sleeve up. I looked at him just standing there, staring at my arm "Andy…I'm sorry" I whispered "I love you Shaun, w-why did you do this to me?" he said sadly  
>"you weren't there. You should have seen what he did to me"<br>"you promised you'd stop doing this" he started to cry  
>"b-baby I'm sorry" I started to cry with him, he clenched my arm tighter, I breathed in deeply holding back my scream of pain<br>"ANDY STOP!" I yelled  
>"WHY SHAUN, WHY, WHY, WHY?"<br>"You don't understand…"  
>"IT FUCKING KILLS ME WHEN YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF SHAUN"<br>"I CAN'T FUCKING HELP IT OKAY?"  
>"get out…"<br>"Andy, please"  
>"out." He said quickly, tears streaming down his face, my heart broke, he hurt me. I stormed out with my bag, tears flooding down my face. I got home, ran past my mum and brothers in the lounge room then got in my room, slamming the door and sat there on my bed, crying, staring at my arm 'you gay piece of shit, you should just die already' I said to myself. I pulled out my razor, till I heard my mum coming up, she knocked on my door and I quickly slid my razor in my sleeve and wiped my eyes "Y-Yes mum?" she opened the door slowly and looked at me "are you okay Shaun?" I nodded slowly, she looked at me worried and looked down "we're going out, you don't have to come…there are frozen meals in the freezer, we'll be home at 12" she said softly then walked out, closing the door.<strong>

**I pulled the razor out and threw it at the door, then lay down on my bed crying. I was torn. I fell asleep then woke up to my ringtone 'When September Ends' another tear rolled, I was crying in my sleep, I picked up my phone, it was from Andy, just seeing his name made me cry. I opened the text message and read it '**_Shaun, I'm sorry please, PLEASE let me come see you…I'm so sorry, I love you. x :'/_**' I was in tears almost instantly, I could barely even read it, my eyes were making everything blurry. I texted back '**_you can come, no one's home and the door's open…love you too, x_**'. I sighed and closed my eyes again. I love him so much, why is it too difficult for him to understand now?.  
>I heard the door open as I just laid there. My door opened, I opened my eyes to find him there, I closed my eyes as they started to tear again. He came and sat next to me and put his hand on my thigh<br>"Shaun I'm sorry, I overreacted…I truly love you, I'm NOTHING without you, baby please, please forgive me"  
>"Y-You…Hurt me" I breathed deeply<br>"I hurt myself too"  
>"w-wait what?" I sat up and looked at him worried, he slowly lifted up his sleeve and looked away from me, I stared at it and started to cry again, I did this to him.<br>"I-I'm so sorry Andy"  
>"Don't be, I fucked up"<br>"no"  
>"yes, I did. I hurt you, and I'll never forgive myself for it"<br>"but I'm the reason you…did…that"  
>"so? It was all worth it"<br>"I-I'm not worth it" I shook my head  
>"yes you are, you're worth everything. I'd do anything for you."<br>"And I would do anything for you too" I looked in his eyes and smiled slightly, he smiled back and put his hand on my cheek, whispering "I love you", "I love you too" I whispered back.  
>he leaned in and kissed my lips softly, I closed my eyes and kissed him back, he smiled and rested his forehead on mine, looking deep in my eyes "Shaun...I'm sorry I hurt you even though I promised I wouldn't"<br>"I-It's okay Andy, I promised I wouldn't cut...and look what I did"  
>he sighed "Shaun, don't let them do this kind of stuff to you...if it happens again, let me know. I'm here, I'll protect you" I smiled, he was the only one who made me happy.<br>"I love you so much Andy"  
>"I love you more Shaun" he giggled slightly, I grinned and shook my head<br>"I don't want to have this fight with you, but believe me...I love you more"  
>"pfft, yeah right" he scoffed<br>"believe me" I smiled and kissed his cheek  
>"fine you win...this time" he smiled<br>I giggled "it's true though, I love you so much...I want to be with you forever"  
>"oh god Shaun...I love you so much" he hugged me lovingly<br>"I love you too Andy" I hugged him back and rested my head on his shoulder. I wanted to be there in his arms. Forever.**

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><p><strong>TO BE CONTINUED! <strong>


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